Being in my early twenties, I’m much closer and connected to my adolescence and my girly teen naïve fantasies that a man who’s in his early forties and most likely going through a midlife crisis. Ok, so we meet, he’s totally cute, and charming, and attractive, and interesting, and… different. Way different from any boys I had ever dated in my entire life. See the crisis here? I had only had boys, not men. Alright, my entire life isn’t too much, so there’s still a lot of novelty coming my way, or so I hope. That was one of these novelties I was looking for, a man twice my age.
So we flirted for a while, we talked about feelings, and love, and lust, and sex, and stuff, but nothing actually happened. The thing is that months after the last time we’ve seen each other, I can’t help but still think about him from time to time. Let’s analyze both sides of the situation then, shall we?
Let’s see his side first: he could have had a 20-year-old woman, but that was not new to him: neither as a man, nor as a 40-year-old. There was no sense of novelty whatsoever to him. Therefore, there wouldn’t be much imaginative work before anything actually happened. Imagination is the only thing that could have increased any kind of attraction he might have felt for me.
I, on the other hand, was desperately looking for something new, and that was it! There he was! All my mind could do was imagine a thousand different things of what it would be like to be with a guy like that. My girly imagination was most probably better than reality would ever be, so why on earth would I want the reality? Well, how else would I know?
I still don’t. This experience’s still lacking. I just hope next time I don’t let my imagination lead me so far apart, because in any attempt or desire to have any kind of physical contact with someone of the opposite sex, it’s always required to have one, or rather both feet on the ground. Just don’t let your feet grow roots, because after a while it is acceptable to take off.
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